a year ago today . . . April 18, 2013

A year ago today our little guy came to be.  Yes, on April 18, 2012 I underwent my egg retrieval and they took my eggs and injected hubby’s sperm and our little guy was created.  I can’t believe that was a year ago already.

I remember thinking that this would be the one.  Third time was going to be the charm.  And I was right!  One of these embryos became our precious little boy.

And then just 3 days later on April 21 they put him inside.  I remember after they put the embryos back, the nurse walked me back to where my husband was and I burst out into tears as we walked.  I just knew this would be the one.  I felt so different that day.

Looking back and seeing those dates, gave me a little bit of the chills.  They put him back in on the 21st of the month and he was born on the 21st of December (2.5 weeks early).  Meant to be.  ♥

Thanks for reading!

beta #3 and funny hubby . . . May 9, 2012

Beta #3 is 1994

Progesterone – 51.2

Estrogen – 692

I almost got my ultrasound today.  I got to the lab chair and the nurse said it was up to me, but based on my labs results and that I am 5 weeks today (YAY!) I could do the u/s today.  I said I would like to wait until Friday.  Hubby was not with me and we were actually planning on Friday, so we will do it then.  I just don’t want him to miss this.

So if they see what they expect to see on Friday, then my appointment’s move to once a week for a couple of weeks, still with the nurses and then after that I see the nurse practitioner.  Not sure how long I will see her before then send me to my OB.

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So I was doing some reading online this morning about pregnancy, etc.  One of the things I read is about hair growth.

“At 6 weeks pregnant, the normal shedding process stops until after delivery.  The downside of this hormonally triggered hairy situation is that you may suddenly sprout strands in places you’d rather not, including your face, your back, and stomach.  Don’t worry; most of it should fall out within six months of giving birth.”

So I of course read this to my husband.  At this point in the process, he has seen it all and knows it all, especially with everything we have been through with trying to get pregnant so I don’t really shy away from telling him things.  And I also mentioned to him that the feet can also grow during pregnancy and in some cases stay that way after you give birth.

So what was his response?  He sent me this picture of what he thinks I will look like at 8 months.  Did I tell you that he always makes me laugh?  And boy did this make me laugh!  Hope it gives you a good chuckle too!

my first blog award . . . May 8, 2012

I received my very first blog award from Jusmeh.  Thank you so much for this honor and the “One Lovely Blog Award.”

So, according to the rules I must do the following:

1.  Share who gave it to you with a link back to their blog.

2.  Write down seven random facts about yourself.

3.  Give this award to fifteen other bloggers.

4.  Let them know they’ve won.

5.  Pop the award on your blog.

So here goes.

Seven random facts about me:

1.  I came into this world 3 weeks early and at 4:44am.
2.  My middle name is Ann.
3.  I was co-captain of my high school color guard squad (flags)  junior and senior year.
4.  I am not really scared of the dark, just what might be in the dark.  YIKES!
5.  My favorite ice cream flavor is Mint Chocolate Chip.
6.  I have actually tried barbecued alligator before and yes it did taste like chicken.
7.  I love to chew Extra Peppermint gum.

How is that for random??  🙂

Ok here are the blogs I am awarding to:

• 2 Lovebirds + 1 More, Please?
• A Few Good Eggs
• are you there, stork? it’s me!
• Bring On The Bump
• Happily Ever After
• Laughing Promises
• lumpsandbumps
• Not-So-Fertile-Girl
• Palm Trees & Rainy Days
• Picking Up The Pieces
• Praying to the Fertility Gods
• Sprinting Barefoot up the Mountain
• TTC and beyond with Azoospermia
• whenisitgonnabemyturn
• Who you callin’ INFERTILE?!

Thanks for reading.

and the results are in . . . May 7, 2012

Beta #2 is 878!!!

Progesterone is 34.3 (my body is producing this because the Endometrin does not show up in the blood) This was 30.8 on Friday.

Estrogen is 625 (This was 485 on Friday)

So happy!

Just to explain the beta/HCG a little but.  The nurse told me they like to see it go up at least 66% every other day.  That also equates to doubling every 3 days.  I put my numbers in a handy-dandy calculator I found online and mine doubled in 47.2 hours!

I go back on Wednesday for more labs and then Friday will be more labs and the ultrasound!  We will get to see how many we have in there!  Can’t wait!!!

Will post more later today or tomorrow.  I received a blog award and need to post about that! 🙂

Thanks for reading!

and the 1st beta is . . . May 4, 2012

305 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I still can’t believe it!!!!  I thought for sure it would be lower, no reason.  So darn excited!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  (sorry for all the exclamation marks)  🙂

I will go back on Monday, Wednesday and Friday for more blood tests.  The nurse told me that when my HCG gets above 1500 they will do the ultrasound to make sure that the baby is implanted in the uterus and then we will go in once a week after that.

Still have a  little ways to go before I feel really comfortable with things, but we are well on our way.

Thank you everyone for the kind wishes and the support!  It has helped so much!

WOO HOO!!!

Thanks for reading!

tomorrow . . . May 3, 2012

So tomorrow is the first beta!  Even though I have had positive home pregnancy tests I still can’t help but feel a little nervous about tomorrow.  Crazy right??  I mean I had a positive result on Tuesday and then I got carried away and bought 3 more regular tests (I am saving the last digital for tomorrow) and tested yesterday afternoon and this morning and had 2 lines both times.  So it has to be true right?  Then I start to tell myself the 2nd line on the tests wasn’t as dark as I would think if should be.  ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And I went to Walgreens today and seriously considered buying more tests!  I was able to talk myself out of it.  But I can totally understand how people can be obsessed with POAS.  Why is this so difficult?  I know why, because as much as we try to not let it become all-consuming, it is difficult.  Everything has to be just right with your cycle and for so many cycles it wasn’t.  So when it finally happens it is so hard to believe.  The odds are against you.  But I just have to tell myself this could really be our time!

I am praying for a great number tomorrow and more importantly for that number to increase next Monday and continue to do so next Wednesday and Friday!  I am not saying that I will be relaxed after that, but to get through some betas with increasing numbers would be incredible!

I think part of my problem is I remember back in December when we went for our 1st beta after IVF #2.  I was so sure it would come back a great number and it was 7.  Granted I did not test before that like I did this cycle, but it still haunts me.

Ideally I would love to see a number tomorrow of above 100, even better if it is above 200.  Only time will tell.   I still feel pregnant.  My boobies are still pretty big, I am still really tired all the time, and still peeing a lot.  Today I felt nauseated.  I had eaten lunch and about 2 or so hours later I felt like I was getting sick to my stomach.  I ate a bagel thinking that would help and it did for about 10-15 minutes, then I felt nauseated again.  I popped a piece of gum and felt better.  Is that morning sickness?  Or is it my mind playing tricks on me, thinking up some of these symptoms.

For the most part I am excited about tomorrow, but there is that tiny bit of worry.  Unfortunately I think that is inherent with those with fertility issues.  Will we ever get over that?  Probably not until that baby is in our arms.

Thanks for reading.

i tested . . . May 1, 2012

**I would appreciate those of you who are my Facebook friends,  to not mention anything on FB or post on my wall anything about my blog.  There are a lot of people in my life (including family members) that don’t know about this blog or our journey and right now I like to keep it that way.  This gives me an outlet to express things I am not ready for the whole world to see. 🙂  Thanks ever so much!!!**

Now on to the post.  So as I mentioned earlier today, I was having a hard time with deciding whether or not to test.  I talked it over with hubby and he was ok with it.  So I went to the store for some groceries and picked up a Clearblue Easy digital test.  Now I was all set to wait until tomorrow to test.  But when I got home I decided to bite the bullet and do it.  I also told myself that if it ended up being negative I could rationalize that my urine must be diluted, because they say morning urine would have the highest concentration of HCG.

So I tested and tried not to stare at it while the hourglass flashed.  I looked away to put something away and looked back and there is was.  I would say it was easily less than a minute.

I could not believe it!  I looked a couple more times to make sure I read it right.  Then the tears came!  And flowed freely!

I know the beta test is still 3 days away.  But I think that I can be cautiously optimistic about this.  And here is how I rationalize it.

With IVF #2, my 1st beta was 7.  Only 7!  So if I were to have tested 3 days before that I imagine the pregnancy test would have read “not pregnant.”  Now I have read that the Clearblue Easy can detect levels of HCG of 25 or higher.  So this has to be a good sign!

I will test again Friday morning before my beta, but like I said I am cautiously optimistic that this is our time!  I have the tester sitting in front of me and still look at it from time to time to make sure I read it right.  But the picture doesn’t lie. 🙂

I am very glad I tested.  Obviously I got a great result so that helps me to be happy!  But now I won’t spend the next couple of days being anxious about Friday!  I will still be a little bit and even if the beta number is good, I will still be anxious until the next one and the next and then until the u/s.  But I certainly feel better about it now!

Thanks for putting up with my craziness and thanks for reading!

help/advice needed . . .

Ok, so ever since the little bit of spotting I had yesterday, I have been vacillating over whether or not to POAS.

With both previous IVFs I did not POAS and I was ok with that.  I did not have this strong desire to.  But for some reason, maybe it is all the different “symptoms” I am having, I am having a hard time not thinking about it.  Maybe because I have done some different things on this cycle and this would be different from the last ones.

I know if I test, and it is negative, I will be very sad.  But there would still be a slim chance that it will be a positive blood test if the HCG is slow to rise.  And if I test and get a positive, I will be happy, but think that maybe it would be my trigger or the test was a false negative.  You see my problem?

So I need some help.  Would love to hear some advice.  Should I test or not test.

I am going to the store today and will get a test.  If I decide to test it will maybe be tomorrow (WED) morning.

My trigger shot was Monday April 16 at 2:45am, so that would be 16 days past the trigger.  The trigger should be out of my system by now.

Thanks for reading and thank for the help!!!

a little scare . . . April 30, 2012

So I woke up this morning and went to the bathroom.  I have been wearing panty liners because of the Endometrin and this morning I saw a little blood and also when I wiped.  It was a pinkish brownish color.  Not red!  And it only lasted about a half-hour.  And I haven’t had any since then.

I emailed the nurse and also posted to my BBC friends.  Since it had stopped my thought was that it was either irritation from the Endometrin or Implantation Bleeding(IB).  The nurse emailed back a little but ago and told me not to worry it was probably the Endometrin.  A couple of friends from BBC said it might be the IB.  Either way it stopped and never got really heavy.  Whew!

I never had this with the first 2 IVFs so I am more inclined to think it might be IB.  I was on Endometrin both times before and never bled one drop!

I am fighting the urge to take a home pregnancy test or as we in the TTC world like to say POAS (pee on a stick).  Thankfully I don’t have any in the house or I might just do it!  I can wait until Friday!  I know I can!

So that has been my Monday so far.  I am keeping busy working on hubby’s quilt.  Got almost all of the t-shirt squares sewn (see photo from a couple of days ago).  Then I will start with the “shadow parts”.

Hope everyone is having a great Monday!

Thanks for reading!

something HAS to be going on . . . April 28, 2012

I am REALLY trying not to over-analyze the symptoms I am having.

Yes I am tried a lot.  Could be the progesterone.  Have some hot flashes here and there.  Could be the progesterone.  Yes I am retaining water here and there.  Could be the progesterone.  Boobies are a bit sore.  Could be the progesterone.  Starting to get a little constipated.  Could be the progesterone.

But there are a couple of symptoms that I do not think is the progesterone.  My hips hurt.  Mostly in the morning.  Wake me up kind of hurt.  Then a little here and there throughout the day if I am sitting for a long period of time.  Again, I had this during the 2WW of the 2nd IVF.  And perhaps the most noticeable of all the symptoms is the size of my boobies.  They seem to expand each day!  I honestly can’t get over how big they are feeling and looking.  Hubby even commented that I must be pregnant because they ARE bigger (not that he is complaining LOL).  Geesh, it sometimes feels like I can’t take a full breath because of the weight of them.

With IVF #1 (BFN) there was one day during the 2WW that they swelled up in the evening, much like now but not quite so big.  But then the next morning they were back to normal.  During the 2WW of IVF #2, they did swell up and for longer than a day, but I don’t quite remember it so much.

Even as I sit here typing this I have this weird feeling like the sides of them are stretching.  It is an itchy kind of feeling.  I am not complaining especially if it means what I hope it means.  I just wanted to post this and maybe get some feedback from some of you who may have experienced something similar.

I have a feeling these next 5-ish days are going to pass slowly!  But again, I am remaining positive and an ever hopeful that we will get our miracle.

PS:  The cookie bouquet was a hit.  Totally took hubby by surprise.  🙂

Thanks for reading!