now and ever more

each journey begins with one step . . . a baby step

34 weeks . . . November 28, 2012

Filed under: Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 10:43 PM
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6 weeks or less to go!

You know it’s funny.  I remember while I was in the 1st trimester and things seemed to be moving along so slowly.  It was probably the morning sickness causing me to feel this way.  I have to tell you the 3rd trimester seems to be going by pretty quickly.

Doctor appointments have been going well.  I had a small scare last week while I was having my NST.  The baby’s heart rate was going along fine.  They like to see spikes.  He must have been sleeping because it was pretty steady.  Then he woke up and had some good movements and at one point my uterus tightened up and then his heart rate dropped to the 90s.  That freaked me out because it was steady around the 140s to 150s.  The doctor kept me on the monitor for a while longer and things we ok from that point on.  Doctor said it was ok because it didn’t happen again, but it freaked me out.

And our little guy who had been head down the last few weeks decided he was going to be in the breech position when they did the ultrasound.  It is still early so it was ok.  I was just surprised.  And we were told he weighed 5 pounds.

I went back yesterday for another u/s and NST.  The NST only took 10 minutes this time or so because he was very cooperative ( I was on the monitor almost an hour last week).  Then the ultrasound showed that he was back to being head down.  Whew!  Let’s hope he stays that way.

The next measuring ultrasound will be at 37 weeks or December 18th.  At that time the doctor will be able to let us know how big he thinks the baby will be and whether or not I will need to be induced a week early.  Until then we will continue with the twice weekly NST’s and the once a week ultrasounds.


As far as how I am feeling . . . the pregnancy is starting to take its toll on me.  The lack of a good night’s sleep is catching up.  The baby seems to be sitting high sometimes and out front, which makes me feel out of breath a lot.  Walking up the stairs in our house is a major task.  Heck just getting out of a chair is a chore and I am grateful that my hubby is stepping up and helping me when he is around.  And it is getting more uncomfortable to drive.  Again this goes back to how he is sitting.  He is making it a bit difficult to sit up straight so driving isn’t the most comfortable.  But I know you have to do what you have to do.


Sorry if this post is all over the place.  I feel a bit out of sorts.  Next post will be better.  I promise.

Thanks for reading!


another year older . . . November 18, 2012

Filed under: Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 10:46 AM
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Well, today I turn 41.  41 and pregnant.  Who would have thought?  Not me!  I was supposed to be the mother of teenagers by this age right?  Well, that is what I used to think when I was younger.  But as they say, you plan and God laughs.  🙂

I have to say I would not change things.  Well, it would have been nice not to have had to struggle for 3 years to get pregnant or going through all of the procedures, but I don’t mind being pregnant at this age, even marrying my husband 4 years ago.  Yes, our anniversary was November 15.  It is nice feeling prepared emotionally and financially for this.

There are days I feel every bit of my age, but then I think is it because I am pregnant or is it because I am 41 and pregnant?  What ever it is I am grateful to feel it because I have another life inside of me.  A life that has been prayed for, for years.  We are less than 60 days away from meeting our little guy and I can’t wait!


I had my 2nd NST on Friday and it went well.  Little boy seemed to sleep for a while, but then he woke up and they got some good reading on him.  Back to the office on Tuesday for another ultrasound and NST before the Thanksgiving holiday.


As I mentioned, our 4th wedding anniversary was the 15th and unfortunately hubby was not here to celebrate it with me.  😦  He is on a mini tour.  Started out in Wisconsin, then North Dakota and he is in Montana for 2 shows.  Tonight is his last show and then he heads back.  He should be home Tuesday morning.   I cannot wait to see him.  The longest we have been apart since we got married is one night.  So this has been pretty tough.  I think probably extra tough because we are so close to having this baby and I am full of hormones.  We talk on the phone twice a day and s that has helped.  In the mean time he has sent me flowers, 3 days worth!  One for the anniversary and one for my birthday and one in between. 🙂

What a great guy who I love very much!  🙂

Hope everyone is having a great weekend!

Thanks for reading!


1st NST scan . . . November 13, 2012

Filed under: Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 3:23 PM
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Today was my first NST scan.  A non-stress test (NST) measures fetal heart rate, fetal movement, and uterine activity to make sure there’s no fetal distress.  Here is a picture of the monitors.  This is not my belly.  It is one I found on the internet.

The lower monitor (mine was set a bit higher up) measures the baby’s heart rate.  And the upper monitor (mine as a little higher) measures the uterine activity (such as contractions).

I sat there for maybe 15 minutes and then got to go talk to the doctor.  He said everything looked great!  He measured me and my fundal measurement was right at 32 weeks, which I will be tomorrow.  So that is great!

Then I had an ultrasound.  I will be having the NST and U/S once a week and then an additional NST once a week.  For the days they do an NST & U/S they will “grade” me.  They look for 5 things and either give you a 2 or a 0.  So they like to see a score of at least an 8 out of 10.  If you are at 6 they want to see you the next day and if you are at a 4 you may be delivering.

The 5 things they look at are Heart rate (NST), Breathing, Movement, Muscle Tone and Amniotic Fluid.  The last 4 are measured on the U/S.  I am proud to say I (the baby) scored a 10 out of 10!

It was such a great appointment!  And the best part.  We got a couple more shots of the baby and a couple of great 3D ones.  And I can say now that our little guy looks like hubby did when he was a baby.  Look for yourself.  Here is a side by side shot of the baby with a baby picture of hubby.  Amazing!

Thanks for reading!


OB visit and liebster blog award . . . November 10, 2012

Filed under: Misc Stuff,Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 12:52 PM
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Friday I had an OB appointment.  Hubby and I walked into the office and noticed that it was empty.  There was one guy sitting there, I can only assume waiting for his wife.  We signed in and was told the doctor was not in that I would be seeing the nurse.  Ahhhhhhhh!  Now it all made sense.  This has happened one other time.  I was told that he was in emergency surgery.  I did not have a problem with not getting to see him.  I would want to know I could count on my doctor to be there for me if I needed him so all was ok.

So the nurse called me back, weighed me, took my blood pressure, checked my urine and listened to the heartbeat and that was pretty much it.  Blood pressure was 110/70, urine was good and heart rate was in the 140s.  She did not do the fundal measurement.

So now I start the twice weekly appointments.  First one is on Tuesday.  We will get to see the little guy again and then have the NST (Non-stress test) to check the baby.  This is where they hook my belly up to a monitor and check the baby for about 20 minutes.  I guess they listen/record to the heartbeat for that long and they like to see spikes in it for when he moves around.  So it should be interesting.  I am hoping hubby can go so he will know what I will be doing for the next several weeks, in case he can’t make it.  He has been great about going to all of my appointments with me.  I love that he is able to be there with his work.  But we are coming up to his busy time and there won’t be many opportunities for him to make a lot of the appointments in December.  But that is how we pay the bills. 🙂


As promised here is the post on the Liebster Blog Award.

Thank you, cmdcupcake at for nominating me for a Leibster Blog Award! This award is granted to up-and-coming bloggers with fewer than 200 followers who deserve some recognition and support to keep on blogging.

The instructions are:

1) to answers the 11 questions written by your nominator. 2) to nominate 11 other bloggers who have less than 200 followers. 3) to write 11 of your own questions for each nominee to answer.

Here are the questions I will answer:

1. Why did you make the decision to start trying  to conceive and how long have you been trying?  Hubby and I knew right away we wanted kids.  But since our entire dating relationship was long-distance, we decided to wait about 5-6 months after I moved to Chicago, to be with him, to start.  (I turned 37 3 days after we got married so I knew time was critical.)  Had I know it would have taken us as long as it did, I would not have waited.  Hindsight is 20/20.  It took is 3 years to get to being pregnant with this baby.

2. What is the worst thing someone has said to you during your TTC journey so far?  “Just relax.  It will happen.”  “I started walking on the treadmill and lost about 5 pounds, then I got pregnant.”  “Why do you want to rush into having kids.  You just got married.”  To name a few.

3. When and why did you start your blog? Do you have more than one blog?  I started before I got into IVF #2.  I had already gone through 3 failed IUIs, multiple procedures and a filed IVF and I really needed an outlet for what we were going through.  I thought it would be a good way to connect with others who have had similar struggles and also thought it might help people who were going through what I was going through.  This is my only blog.  Only a few close friends know about it though and no family other than my hubby.

4. What do you do for a living? Is it your dream job, if not what is?  Currently I help my hubby out with his business.  So I get to work from home.  Prior to meeting him, I worked as a tax accountant in St. Louis.  I was at one of the Big 5 firms for 5 years, then went to work at a client and was there for 9 years before moving up Chicago.  I telecommuted at the last job for the following year and then that was the end of that.  I have enjoyed helping my husband with his work, in whatever way I can (keeping the books, tagging along and being his official photographer, videographer, etc.)  Last year I started a little business of my own.  I have always loved to draw so I started a business where I can recreate your favorite photographs into pencil or pastel works of art. 🙂  It has been a little slow to take off, but The few jobs I have had I have really enjoyed.  I don’t feel very comfortable saying the name of the business as right now I enjoy keeping this blog anonymous, but here is an example of what I can do.

5. What is your favorite book?  I don’t really have a favorite book.  As we get into the Christmas season, I am quite fond of the Christmas books by Donna VanLiere.  Very heartwarming and easy reads.  I also just picked up her memoir “Finding Grace.”  I haven’t started it yet, but will be doing so shortly.  She also struggled to have kids and ended up adopting.

6. How do you relax when TTC gets tough?  I can’t say that I would have a good answer to this.  I was almost always thinking about TTC.  It really takes over your life, especially when you have absolutely no control, which I hate.  Typically I would try to watch some mindless TV in the evenings.

7. If you could live anywhere in the world where would you live?  Actually I love living right where I live.  But if I could travel anywhere, it would be Italy or the UK.  I also want to visit every state in the US before I die.  I have visited 32, so only 18 left to go.  Most of them are in the Northeast and the Northwest.  If I could have tagged along with hubby on his trip next week I would have been able to mark 2 more off the list (Montana and North Dakota), but it would be too tough on my body.  Oh well.

8. What is currently playing on your iPod?  As sad as it sounds, my iPod sits in a dock on my desk and I rarely play it.  But that will change soon as we get closer to Christmas.  I will be playing Christmas music a lot!  🙂

9.  What is your favorite TV show?  I really enjoy the Amazing Race.  Love to see the world without getting off the sofa! LOL

10. What is the most useful piece of advice you have been given (doesn’t have to be fertility related)?  It is actually a quote my mom taped up on the kitchen cabinet when we were kids.  “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” – Eleanor Roosevelt

11. Dog or cat person?  Definitely a dog person!

Ok.  Now to the questions I will pose for 11 other bloggers.  And forgive me, as time is ticking away, I am going to steal some already asked questions that I found on another blog.

1. If you could meet any person (real or fiction) who would it be and what question would you ask them?

2. How did you meet your spouse/partner? Was it love at first sight?

3.  What is the meaning behind your blog name?

4. Do people in real life know about your blog? Why or why not?

5. What is your greatest fear in life?

6. Who has been the most positive role model in your life to date and why?

7. What about your infertility journey is most difficult for you?

8. What is your most favorite comfort food?

9. What possession do you love and would be heartbroken to part with?

10. What do you do to he your spouse through the struggle of infertility?

11. If you were a billionaire how would you choose to spend your time?

Here are the bloggers I have chosen!

Thanks for reading!


31 weeks . . . November 7, 2012

Filed under: Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 7:07 PM
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Seems like things are moving right along.  Can’t believe I am down to 9 weeks to go (sooner if I get induced).

I am happy to report my feet have gone back down to “normal.”  I put normal in quotes because they still plump up a bit because of water retention, but not like they did during the road trip.

I will see the doctor this Friday for a regular check up and then next Tuesday we start the twice a week appointments.  It will be interesting to see what those are like.

Baby boy has been active a lot more.  Well, I should say when he is active, HE IS ACTIVE.  The other morning as I was still trying to sleep, it felt like he was swimming laps in my uterus.  I definitely feel him more at the top of my uterus and less at the bottom, so hopefully that means he is staying in the right position for birth.  At least I will get weekly ultrasounds to be able to tell if he stays that way or if he decides to go breech.

Belly seems to be getting rounder.  At least that is what it looks like to me.  Check out my bump photos and tell me what you think.

Other that that, not too much else going on.

Oh I had to share something with you.  When we were on the road trip and stopped in St. Louis visiting my parents., one of their neighbors kids stopped by.  She was not a fan of dogs, we had Buddy there and so we put him in the crate and she came in to check him out.  It went well and she petted him a littl and he licked her fingers.  She was not ready for him to be loose.  Which is wise.  He is so sweet, but he gets to excited meeting new people and wants to jump and I am sure that would have freaked her out.  I think she was 8 or 10 years old.

Anyway, the point of this is that my mom took her in the kitchen so she could wash her hands and my mom mentioned to her that I was having a baby.  She asked my mom how old I was.  She told her 40.  The girl replied, “I thought she was in high school.”    Made my day.  I know kids aren’t always able to tell age too well, but I will take what I can get!  🙂


One more thing, I did get Liebster Blog Award.  Thank you  Chronicles of the Conceptionally Challenged.

Thank you and I plan on posting about that in the next couple of days.  I promise!

Thanks for reading!


30 weeks, road trip and swollen feet November 2, 2012

Filed under: Pregnancy — nowandevermore @ 7:33 PM
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Sorry I haven’t updated.  Friday of last week, we headed out-of-town and just got back last night.  Long week and a lot of driving.  Here is what went down since then.

So on Wednesday (this week) I reached the 30 weeks mark!  It is getting close now!  We had an OB appointment last Friday morning and things are looking good.  My fundal measurement was 30 (I was 29 weeks, 2 days) and he said that is great.  We talked about the ultrasound I had the week prior and I asked about our big guy.  The doctor did say that u/s aren’t 100% accurate, it gives an idea of how big or small the baby will be.  I asked if he would induce if it looked like we were going to have a big one and he said he will know better at the 35 week ultrasound, but based on what he weighed at the last u/s and the fact that they typically gain a 1/2 pound each week from here on out, we could be looking at an 8.5-9 pound baby.  If that were the case he would induce me a week early.  I would be ok with that.  I would much rather push out a smaller baby anyway!  🙂

I go back to see him on Nov 9th and then the following week I will see him 2 times a week.  The early part of the week will be an ultrasound and NST (non-stress test) for the baby and then the later part of the week will just be the NST.  The week of Thanksgiving will only be the ultrasound and NST because we will be out-of-town for Thanksgiving.  I can’t believe we are in the home stretch!


Friday late afternoon we headed out-of-town to Alabama by way of St. Louis.  Spent time with my parents, dropped our dog off and headed off to Alabama on Monday.  Hubby had a concert on Tuesday.  It went well and we headed back to St. Louis on Wednesday, Halloween.  I did wear my costume all the way home. Several people said they really liked it.  Here is a headless picture of me with it on.

It took us a little longer to get home than it did to get down there.  I needed to stop a lot on the way back and we also stopped in Metropolis, IL to see the Superman Museum.  Here is hubby in front of the statue.  He really doesn’t have a smiley face for a head, by the way.

On the rest of the trip home, I started to get some stomach pains.  Nothing to do with the baby.  These were pains I had before, long ago and basically it meant that something was not digesting and the pains would get worse until I threw up.  I did throw up closer to home and then again at my mom’s and into the night/early morning.  The last time I got up that night was 2:30am.  After that I was fine.  And I haven’t had any issues since.


One other thing that I had trouble with on the trip was swollen feet!  I have had some slight swelling here and there for the past couple of weeks, but this was the worst.  I am sure it didn’t help that I did not eat as well as I should have, but when you are on the road, it is difficult.  This will be the last road trip I take before the baby comes, except the trip to St. Louis.  That one is only 4.5 hours, not the 10 hours from St. Louis to our destination in Alabama.  Hubby will be gone for a week this month, so wishing I could go with him especially since our Anniversary and my Birthday will be during that time (cue the tears), but it is for the best.

Here is a picture of my poor feet when we got home on Thursday evening, after an all day drive on Wednesday and a partial drive on Thursday.  They do look better today and should be getting better.  Need to prop them up.  Please don’t comment on my pedicure.  I need to fix them up a bit.  You can see where the straps on my Flip-flops were from that to the toes, my feet look normal, but below that, it doesn’t even look like my own feet!  UGH!


So there you have the update.  I did not even get to take a bump shot this week…Will have to do one next week for sure!

Baby boy has been kicking up a storm lately!  Sometimes it seems like he waits until I go to bed to have a party in there.  But I will take it, because it means he is doing great!

It is getting harder and harder to bend over and sit upright at the computer.  Feels so much better to lay back and slouch a bit.

Thanks for reading!