now and ever more

each journey begins with one step . . . a baby step

OH THE HORROR-mones October 30, 2011

Filed under: IVF/FET Journey — nowandevermore @ 7:38 PM

Ok so today was a bad hormonal day for me.  Cried a little, but mostly just wanted to scream!  Did not sleep well last night, which I am sure added to my mood, but this made me not really want to go out of the house today.  I needed to pick up a couple of items from Wal-mart.  But I decided that surely I could get them at Walgreens.  It was a little closer to home and I knew it would not be that busy.  What I didn’t count on was that of the 5 items I needed they only had 2!  Usually they are my “go to” store, but not today.  So I left without getting anything.  I went back home.

About an hour later I mustered up enough strength to go to Wal-mart.  The parking lot confirmed my fears, that the store was going to be packed.  Day before Halloween…parents buying costumes, candy…you name it.  There were people everywhere!  I had people walking about 1 mile an hour in front of me blocking the entire aisle.  Finally I had a chance and I bolted around them.  After all, I only had 5 items to get.  Every turn around the aisle, someone was there waiting to cut me off or lollygagging like they had nothing better to do than go shopping.  And to top it off my cart was making a horrible loud noise as I walked.  I was sure everyone was staring at me and could sense that I was a crazy woman on a mission.  Or just a crazy woman with a loud cart.

I made my way around the entire store getting the items I needed and safely (and quickly) made it through the express lane.  I am grateful the person in front of me had less than 12 items.  I would have hated to have gone ballistic because they had 13, but I would have done it.  Almost out the door.  I had a clear path.  A woman came out from the bathroom and joined her husband right in front of me.  Slowed me down a bit, but I was able to get around them and out the door…all without screaming.  Well, all without screaming out loud.

You know I think back at our 1st IVF attempt and how my hormones were then.  I did a lot of crying, not full-blown sobbing, but tears here and there.  Always apologizing to my husband for my moods.  He was always great about it.  After we got through the cycle I remember telling him how great he was during my craziness and he said to me…it wasn’t as bad as I thought it was going to be.  hmmmm…if he could have only been in my head today.

Tonight I take my last birth control pill.  So I am hoping that I get a few days of sane-ness before I have to start taking more hormones to get me through the embryo transfer.  But it is all part of this journey.  And as long as I don’t end up in the looney bin I should be ok.

Hope everyone has a safe and Happy Halloween.  Here are some goodies I baked yesterday to get you in the Halloween spirit.

Thanks for reading.


One Response to “OH THE HORROR-mones”

  1. happysiera Says:

    sorry for the hormones! hate days like that and totally understand what you are describing! you were a brave soul to make the trek to walmart ; )

    love the fingers! hope they were enjoyed and yay to no more bcp!

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